heyhey you! do you know how much pain you cause me whenever i see you play ball? i dont know bout you but it seriously hurts me load whenever you're there. i know it isnt your fault, but its neither mine... what to do?... i guess its fate. is this simply like-ness? after such long time... the feeling is still deep in me. WHY? do i love you? how does love feel? what am i feeling now? the on and off feeling kills. no one seem to be able to replace you. ur emo-ness and cuteness. but why? no one seem to be able to take over you. not even him.. i guess. how are you feeling these day? have you successfully let go? whenever the scene of us together appears in my mind, i would smile without even realising it... why cant i let that strong feeling go off? i think about us everyday day, it has become a habit, it aint weird anymore... but i think im making progress... i guess i'm not missing you that much. day by day, that feeling fades a lil. when would it be the day where i finally let go? tomorrow? the day after? next wk? nxt mth? nxt yr? nxt century? nxt decade? nxt millenia? i dont noe... i really dont.!


and you! i guess you are the only one who manage to make me stop thinking about him. but, why you? why am i falling for u? is it becos of my dream? am i only doing this as my dream did this? i dont know either... can someone explain? it has been awhile, and i've been falling deeper each day and each second. when will it stop? life seems colourless and liveless w/o you around. it hurts. what about you? it feels like as if im living in jonas' community (the giver) its the same-ness , colourless predicable live. are you willing to become my giver? but i dont wanna be the reciever. what to do?

LOL!