Whenever you work on something, i believe one of the teeny wheeny light which kept you going would be the praises and pat-on-backs showered on you afterwards.

of course, that never fails to keep me going. however, i find it ironic that it seems that the closer you are to the person, the harder it is for the person to praise you or at least appreciate what you've done.

for example, ms ng kindly burnt a disc of the syf actual dance for all the dancers and i proudly brought it home, awaiting approvals of my greatest success in my short 15 years of life. when i reached home, i inserted the disc into the player and asked my mother to watch with me. however, all she said was 'im running late. next time' fine. its okay. so i watched the 6 min video on my own. i must say, we seriously done well. i almost teared as i stared into the screen. it was 60% hard work 30% determination and 11% of luck. yes. it makes up 101%. it reminded me of the time where we would all leave the hall with a patch of sweat on our backs. and days where i had to sit on the stage and watch. and watch. and watch. feeling the pain in my back and the pain in my heart. being unable to practice with my fellow dancers. all because of some eff slip disc.

i wanted to play it again, and invited dad to watch it with me. he reluctantly agreed. all he had to say was ''why so small. why like this, why like that.'' criticise criticise criticise. what else? i happily asked my brother if he would like to watch it. in less than 5 seconds, i received his answer. ''no.'' he said, coldy. i asked him why. and he said ''its boring.''

its okay, i told myself. 'i still have mummy!' so i placed the disc into the player and got my mother to watch it. all i got was ''you also never stand right infront. that one is you meh. so fast gone liao. you also not the lead..'' forget it. forget it hazel.

i can't believe it. i mean, my teachers showered us with praises. telling us how good we were and how wonderful we did. my principal congratulated us with open arms. in a day, dance club has transformed from a downright cca to one of the top. how much better can life get? indeed, life ain't that great. i can't even get approvals from my parents. what were they expecting? can't they just at least tell me a white lie? it sure is better than all their useless fucked up comments.

LIFE'S GOOD.

ohwell. english,chinese,amaths,chemistry,ss down. emaths paper 2, physics, poa paper 2 and hist yet to come.


but. exams sucked. seriously not confident at all. i swear i studied hard. so bloody demoralise.




SHIT ASS AMATHS!. im sorry mrs cheng and mdm neo. ><>

OH DEAR :O


i can't bloody get anything into my head! its like im suffering from mental block! -.-

very annoying okay. i can hardly do any of the emaths questions! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?! exams are like starting full swing on friday and yet im getting more and more distracted each day! i was so bloody focus last week. what happened?! im always feeling so letargic. but why?! i'm even more tired than usual. WTF. i guess i'll wake up at 4 to study again. SHITASS. hazel you idiot.

everybody's studying already! why am i lagging behind?! its not like i DONT WANT TO. but i feel so stuck. its like as if my brain is clogged up with cotton wools. you geddit? or bits of tissues stuck on your sticky fingers. DO YOU GET MY FRUSTRATION?!

I'M LIVING IN AGONY!!!!!!!

HELLO ALL TWITTLERS~!

well. im NOT on twitter. and i simply don't get it. what's with the rage on twitter?

@HAZEL1234 : im hungry! 18.46
@HAZEL1234 : my mother is cooking meesua! 18.47


it is really important? ohwell, and i seriously don't know how to twit. HAHAH can somebody teach me? its so confusing! HAHAH .___.

like whose not on twitter man?! or plurk! i tried plurk, but i hell don't get it. I NOE. im an IT RETARD. but ohwells..

HAZELINE. TEACH ME HOW TO TWIT!!LOL

i was just looking through my old post and wow, how much i've grown since then.! so here's a comparison of the changes:

i use tuhh type like dat lorrs.
while i don't anymore. HAHA

i was hot. like seriously!
i think i'm getting uglier each day

my life was surrounded by love. love. love
my life is surrounded by rants. rants. rants.

all i do is talk about boys!
all i do is complain about weird stuff!

my life was exciting!
not that its no longer exciting, but its much more plain

i associate with interesting ppl
i associate with crazy ppL!

okay i think thats all. but oh god. it was hell embarassing okay! like WHAT?! i can't believe i said such stuff on my blog! lol

but one thing that never change is that , I STILL HAVE A PROBLEM FOCUSING! oh damnit.


GIVE ME THE STRENGTH!!!!

oh yes. we have successfully battled the english paper. and so that leaves us with maths (p1,2), chinese(p1,2), amaths, sci-chem(p1,p3), sci-phy (p1,p2), poa (p1,2), hist and ss. yeap so i have 12 paper more to go ! PHEW. -.-


so im actually preparing for my post exam activities already! HHAHA. I CAN'T WAIT OKAY.

besides doing the least interesting stuff like :
1.reshuffle pb.
2.do up student leaders' notice board
3.prepare for o lvls
4.check papers
5.EXTRA LESSONS!!!

every other is is fairly inviting! :DDD
such as:
1. DANCE CAMP!!
2. pre-dance camp
3.prefects camp!!!
4.mjr-mpss SL bonding trip!
5.shopping
6.crazy trips
7.time for beloved(s).

OHYEAHH~!

and and escape themepark + www has some bundle offer! yesyes . escape THEMEPARK might be a themepark w/o rollercoaster. but ohwell.. thats all we got! and www is pathetically UNscary. but oh well. WE'RE IN SINGAPORE. danger NOT okay.! :D

and theres marina barrage! (yet to go.) kite flying and picnic! ohyeaaaa~ and there's ecp and late nite movies! prawning and simply slacking. boardgame cafes, bowling. bbq and chalet! OH-AM-GEEE. lol of course. still trying to beg my mum to go overseas (phewwwww~)


I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY BREAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!